Life's Mysteries
by lostcowgirl
Summary: Young Marshal Matt Dillon only knows one thing. Despite his injuries he has to ride hard and fast for Kitty's sake. Set during January in Season 1 when Matt's only known Kitty for a few months.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 - What's Going On?**

All I knew was I had to protect Kitty. The headache and dizziness didn't matter. It did matter that a horse was saddled and ready for me to ride. I didn't care why it was, but it would save me time getting back to her. I led the buckskin from the stall, opened the barn door and mounted as soon as I'd closed it again. Somehow I knew it was important to ride away from here. Yeah, but where is here and ride to where? Maybe it was pure instinct, but I turned west. I knew that was the direction I took as I spurred my mount forward, racing at a full gallop before I passed the house. Even so, I heard a rifle fire and felt a sharp pain in his my shoulder as I raced past out of the yard onto the road. Again, I don't know how I knew it was a rifle or why I should even care what they were using to shoot at me. I sure didn't know why they were trying to stop me except that it had something to do with Kitty, whoever she is. All I'm sure of is she's a girl who's important to me in some way.

I sped onward, giving my horse his head. Right now there were only two certainties in my life. I had to get to Kitty to keep her safe and this horse would help me do that. We began to slow as we approached a town. At least that's what I thought it was through my increasingly blurred vision. It had been bad enough when I started out from that dilapidated old farm. I only had a sore head to contend with before someone put that bullet in me. Maybe it was the same someone who hit me on the head. That hard ride isn't something I'd recommend to anyone who wanted to control the bleeding from a bullet wound and stay in the saddle, let alone remain conscious. Somehow I managed until my horse halted in front of what appeared to be a saloon. The last thing I remember, until I awoke, was hearing two cowboys shouting for the town doctor, Doc Adams, as I slid to the ground and lost consciousness.


	2. Chapter 2 - Is Dodge City Home?

Thanks for the reviews to those who posted as guests, including mommoo & Beverly

**Chapter 2 – Is Dodge City Home?**

I hope I've found a home here in Dodge City. It's a bit too soon to tell. I've certainly made friends. My job isn't bad either, especially for a saloon girl. That's what I've become. My deceased mother's family, if they knew where I am, would be appalled at how far I've fallen. It's sure not the life for a girl born into New Orleans society and sent to a proper girls' seminary until I was 13 despite my father being the black sheep of his own family that rested on a slightly lower rung of the social ladder with his Scotch-Irish background instead of the superior, at least according to the established rules of the city of my birth, French ancestry of my maternal side. As to the man I've chosen to give my heart to, he might even rank below my father, Wayne Russell, with my mother's people. His people did own land in Missouri and he did grow to manhood in Texas so they could accept him as a southerner, but despite that he's of the same Scotch-Irish stock as my father's people and now earns his way as what they'd consider a glorified policeman who chose to side with the Yankees instead of the Confederate cause.

I didn't want to stay in Dodge and I sure didn't want the reason to be a man. Ever since Cole Yangton left me to seek his fortune in California even before the war and my life was turned upside down all I wanted was to try to gain some control of my own life. Men controlled it until I ran away from the Alhambra Saloon in Laredo, Texas for the second time. I'd made my own deal in Abilene with Jim Witherspoon owner of the Silver Slipper, but even there keeping my job depended on how well I pleased men and not entirely on my terms. Bill Pence is different. He readily agreed to my terms and paid heed to what I could do beyond getting men to buy whiskey and find release in my body. His reputation is why the Long Branch was the only saloon I considered once I decided a certain tall lawman was worth checking out enough that I'd remain in this ugly little town that calls itself a city.

Bill's lived up to his reputation. Only two months into the job and he's already given me access to the saloon's books. Keeping them up to date and balanced is now part of my job. I'm slowly regaining respectability except among certain of the town's ladies and their husbands, if they have them. That still doesn't change the fact that despite all my reasons for leaving Abilene and heading west back to my friend Julie Blane's place in San Francisco, I've remained here because of that man I spotted in Bedino's Café that first morning. I've tried not to fall for him, but those piercing blue eyes and little boy smile won't let me. When you add that we can't help telling each other things we'd never share with anyone else, I lost all my resolve. I want to be more than best friends. I want him for my man and all that comes with it, up to and including marriage. The marriage part, however, can wait.

Matt Dillon is doing a better job of keeping simply good friends, at least when it comes to courting. He seems to have an aversion to it, especially marriage. Maybe in time he'll let go of enough personal information that I'll be able to figure it out even if I don't understand the emotion behind it. However, it can't be denied that we enjoy each other's company and there is a pull toward something more. He has his own reasons for keeping things from going where deep down I'd like them to go and I suspect so does he. Although we've shared all sorts of personal matters, our reasons for keeping our interactions platonic aren't among them. Despite all our efforts, we do contrive to spend time alone. Tonight is one of those times. He's taking me to Delmonico's and will pick me up at seven following his early evening rounds. I sure he'll also be the one to escort me home after his late rounds when I got off my shift.

The Long Branch has been his last stop most nights since at least my first night in Dodge and we both have rooms at Ma Smalley's Boarding House, although his is an outside one with its own entrance. Matt, if nothing else, is a gentleman and walking me home is the gentlemanly thing to do. He leaves me at the front door after making sure I'm inside and then walks around to his own room. Ma keeps a respectable place. No man is allowed in any woman's room except with the door wide open and only during daylight or early evening hours even if she knows that woman earns part of her living entertaining men in a room with a bed. I, on the occasions when I do entertain a man, do so at the room allotted to me at the Long Branch for such dalliances or I go to his room. The latter is rarely at the Dodge House because like Ma they cultivate a certain reputation as the classiest hotel on Front Street, our main business thoroughfare. On those rare occasions I enter and leave by the backdoor and stairs, making sure nobody sees me.

This particular January evening I split my time between dealing and encouraging our customers to buy drinks with friendly encouragement, otherwise known as flirting. I'm less inclined with each passing day to entertain anyone upstairs or in their room even if I find them physically attractive and plan to discontinue this aspect of my job, with Bill's full blessing, once I've accumulated enough money to meet his more than reasonable asking price for becoming a full partner in the running of the saloon. Time had passed and now only a half-hour remains until Matt will arrive. I was smiling inwardly at the prospect of our upcoming meal when someone I'd hoped never to see again walked into the room and up to the bar.

I watched as Strom Bucklin bought a bottle from Fred, one of the bartenders, and sought a table, assessing the girls as he did so. I'd last seen him at the Silver Slipper in Abilene and managed to avoid him there thanks to town sheriff Bill Hickok, who'd become a friend during my stay there. I hadn't spent time with the loathsome man since I abruptly left Laredo. His father was Henri Villon's overseer on a Louisiana plantation 20 miles up river from New Orleans and he was second in command over the field hands. Villon senior and junior were frequent visitors to Panacea Syke's gambling house and the Blane Gaming Parlor, but I had no contact with them there. Pan and Julie saw to that. It wasn't until I was forcibly removed to the Bayou Queen on what I thought at the time was my father's orders, but was really in payment for his gambling debts, that I learned of the Villons' connection to the L'Hommedieu family. Like their employer, the Bucklin men, father and especially son, had certain tastes when it came to women and were willing to pay to carry them out if the woman didn't happen to be of darker hue and listed openly as property. In the latter case they simply did what they wanted up to the limits set by her owner.

I decided it was best to sit and wait for Matt at a table in the back, as far from Bucklin as I could get, but where I could keep him in my sights without him noticing me. My luck didn't quite hold. He spotted me, saw my smile to Matt, mistaking it for one for him, and rushed over, recognizing me as he did so. I'd only been with him one night when his Confederate unit came through Laredo on the way to fight a Union squad along the Mexican border, but I never wanted to repeat it. I'm sure the L'Hommedieus provided the necessary funds so Tom Mullins would give me to him for the bulk of the night to do whatever he wanted, including beatings.

"I can't believe my luck. I come into this town for the first time and who do I meet but my favorite New Orleans gal I got to know in Texas. Red, I'm sure the boss provides a room for you upstairs. I'll settle up with him later," he said as he grabbed my arm and yanked me out of my chair in an attempt to pull me toward the stairs.

"Get your hands off her," Matt commanded. "Even if I weren't here to take Kitty to supper I can tell she doesn't want any part of you."

Matt must have crossed the room in two strides. Despite his commanding voice and a four-inch height advantage Bucklin wasn't about to give ground to him. Instead the piece of trash pulled me closer to him. That's when Matt gave him the benefit of his right fist, knocking my assailant to the floor.

"I suggest you crawl out of here," Matt snarled. "Next time I find you anywhere near her, you'll have three minutes to get out of Dodge."

With that, Matt took my arm and escorted me out onto Front Street and across it to our private supper at Delmonico's. I hadn't realized it, but I was trembling and didn't stop until we'd placed our order and I was sure that odious creature wasn't following us into the restaurant. Over the meal I explained to Matt who he was without providing any unnecessary detail. He walked me back to the Long Branch and told Bill and Fred to keep an eye out for my safety until he returned. Bucklin didn't return for the rest of my shift and I began to think I'd be free of him at least for the night. Matt escorted me home and turned back toward his office rather than his room. It seems he still had some paperwork to finish before turning in.


	3. Chapter 3 - Who Has Time for Friends?

**Chapter 3 – When Is There Time for Friends?**

You might think my life is pretty straightforward. I have my job to do and that means I could be dead at any moment. It doesn't leave much room for close friendship and certainly none for a wife and family. Even so, I do have a few really good friends. There's Doc Adams, whom I met when I first came through my town, Dodge City, as a boy when it wasn't even a real town – just a spot in the road with a name. Then there's Chester Goode, my assistant. I've known him for a bit more than a year now. I trust both these men with my life and they've shown time and again that my choice was a wise one. Finally there's Kitty Russell. I've only known her a couple of months, but already she's become my best friend. I find myself telling her things that I couldn't possibly tell anyone else. Everyone else in town and surrounding Ford County or from my past, except maybe Frank Reardon, is a mere acquaintance to a greater or lesser extent.

I didn't want to become close to her, but somehow I can't think of her as just another one of the girls Bill Pence employs at the Long Branch, our classiest saloon. That first day she arrived in the rain I made it my last stop on my final rounds for the night and I've kept it up since then when I'm not called out of town on business. Somehow, just sitting with her I could unwind from my day. Despite my vow to keep away from any entanglements, I asked her to go fishing with me a week after we met. I don't mean to imply there was anything romantic in it. The town was quiet and the morning promised an unseasonably warm day. It was just two friends going fishing.

In the short time I've known her I learned to read her moods. The incident with Lucifer Jones that Christmas Eve when Chester's brother Magnus came for a visit gave me a start. She would have been killed if not for Magnus' quick actions and I realized I'd miss her and that hypothetical absence, despite all efforts to prevent feeling that way about her, meant more to me than the loss of an occasional fishing partner or dinner companion, with or without Doc and Chester accompanying us.

This particular early January evening I stopped by the Long Branch to pick her up for supper. I surveyed the room as usual, but didn't keep the main doors open too long before stepping down into the barroom so as not to let too much of the cold air in. However, in that short time I noticed she was staring at a man sitting at a table across the room from where she sat. He had the look of a gunman, probably one of Quantrill's men who couldn't give up the killing he grown used to during the war. As soon as she spotted me her expression changed from one of trepidation to a welcoming smile.

I should have been quicker. By the time I got to her table the stranger had jerked her to her feet and was trying to force her upstairs with him. When he refused to let her go I let him know I meant every word I said as I approached with my fist. I never did get his name. We left for our supper at Delmonico's before he could crawl out of the Long Branch. If he knew what was good for him, he'd keep out of sight until he finished whatever business he had and left town. After what she told me over supper there was no way I wanted him anywhere near where he could grab her without me knowing it. I'm aware of how Kitty earns her living, but I also know when she doesn't want a man as a customer, repeat or otherwise.

Despite still having to write a report to Washington that had to make the midnight train I walked Kitty home before I'd finished it. I returned to the office thinking she was safe. Once the report was in an envelope and on that eastbound train I looked at Chester snoring away on his cot, locked the office for the night and took the back alleys to my room. When I returned just before dawn the next morning Chester was already redding up the place and a fresh pot, or as fresh as any coffee Chester makes, was on the stove. Kitty as usual was sleeping in so Chester and I joined Doc for a leisurely breakfast.

I had to go out to the fort to go over the transfer of a gold shipment that was coming in from St. Louis so I didn't see much of Kitty, but I didn't worry because Doc said he was taking her along with him to the Stevens place. They were expecting the arrival of yet another baby and Mr. Stevens welcomed the help Kitty could provide. Even so, as a feeling of unease began to grow, I told both men as we went our separate ways after breakfast to keep an eye out for the stranger. As it turned out I was back in Dodge before Doc and Kitty. I still didn't get a chance to see either of them because Chester handed me a note as soon as I hung my hat on the peg by the door and gratefully sat down with a cup of coffee. I leaned back in my chair to read it.

The note sent me scurrying out the door again to a small ranch that used to belong to the Fultons until they decided they would be better off at his parents' farm in Ohio. It seemed a neighbor, a newcomer, had seen some strangers out that way and he thought they might be connected to a stage robbery that occurred a couple of weeks back and sent a boy, Chug Kenney, who did odd jobs for several of the small farmers and ranchers to town with his note, which he'd signed Tug Latimer. It was the first lead I'd had on the incident involving two or three men before the trail went cold. I decided not to take Chester along in case the tip didn't pan out. Besides, I still wasn't sure the stranger had left. I passed Doc and Kitty returning as I left, but didn't have time to do much more than greet them.

I left my horse in a stand of trees to the west of the house and barn and crept in on foot for a closer look. There were three horses in the barn and three men in the house. They were sitting at a table talking, but soon came outside as if at least one of them was planning to leave. I crept as close as I dared so I could hear their conversation. That's when I recognized one of them as the stranger who'd bothered Kitty yesterday.

"I know this place is nothing compared to what your daddy owned before the Yankees took everything away. Still, it's a start as was the money we got from that stage with Tug here's help. I think I found a sure-fire moneymaker while I was scouting things out in that pitiful excuse for a town ten miles west of here. You're gonna like this Villon."

"What's your idea, Bucklin? Just what do we have to do to make a go of it?"

"There's this redheaded whore working one of the saloons in that town who you first took in New Orleans and I enjoyed in Laredo. She's still young and quite a looker. Thing is, the local Yankee law dog thinks she's worth protecting. She can be our first at this country cathouse. It's quite fitting actually since she's from back home. Her name's Kitty. Best thing is, I've already drawn her marshal friend here when I told that fool neighbor kid about seeing you, Tug, and me here and handed him a note describing what I saw for the marshal's eyes only. Once we're rid of him, that lame assistant of his won't be any problem."

I drew my gun and started to move forward to arrest them when I heard a twig crack behind me. I turned toward the sound. Then everything went dark.


	4. Chapter 4 - Is It Worth It?

**Chapter 4 – Is It Worth It?**

I enjoy my time with Doc. He's been showing me some of the things I'd need to know if I decide to give up the saloon business and become his nurse. I have a feeling nursing is a lot less dangerous, if less lucrative. I was reminded of what can happen to a girl working a saloon when Strom Bucklin briefly came back into my life yesterday. I reckon there's a trade-off for everything a woman might choose to do in a man's world. Like Bill Pence, Doc's a good man to work for plus he does a lot of good for folks around here. As I've come to know him better I find he's everything my father wasn't as I was growing up.

Chester joined us for supper and explained where Matt was going when we drove past him in Doc's buggy. Doc was called away to tend to a patient on the other end of town who'd slipped and broke her arm. A couple hours later Doc had returned but seemed in no hurry for his nightcap in the Long Branch. Chester was just about broke from the poker game he joined soon after supper and joined me for a beer. We both were waiting for Matt. Seeing him was the only way I could be sure he was all right and Chester wanted to ask for an advance on his next month's salary. That's when we heard the shouts for Doc from two riders for Emmet Bowers who'd just left to go home. So it goes on a typical night in Dodge City.

Chester and I raced outside to find Doc already kneeling beside Matt and telling the two cowboys to gently carry him upstairs. We followed behind. He was awfully quiet as they placed him face down on the examining table. Doc shooed everyone out except me. He set me to preparing what he'd need, including boiling water and pouring alcohol to sterilize his instruments. Matt had a lump on the back of his head, which seemed to worry our town physician more than the bullet in his shoulder. He'd been shot from behind.

While Doc removed the bullet from Matt's left shoulder with what assistance I could provide Chester took care of our marshal's horse and tack. He even unpacked his saddlebags and was surprised to find Matt's gun inside them rather than in his holster, which he was still wearing when he collapsed. Doc was tying the bandage over the shoulder wound when Chester returned. Neither Doc nor I could tell him anything except that Matt would live, but he wouldn't be awake until sometime in the morning.

Nothing Doc could say or do would prevent me from staying by Matt's side that first night especially after his patient cried out in his semi-conscious state. It wasn't in pain. It was the driving force that had kept him moving toward Dodge and to my surprise what he was calling out was about me.

"Must protect Kitty. Can't let them hurt her."

Throughout the rest of the night Matt slept peacefully except when he'd mumble about protecting me. Whenever that happened his heart would race, making Doc frown. Finally, with my help, we got enough laudanum in him so that he fell into a deep, healing sleep. He was still asleep by the time Chester returned with Bill and Moss. With their help we were able to transfer Matt to the back room where he'd be more comfortable and await his awakening. Then Chester took up a vigil in Doc's office, sitting in one of the chairs with a shotgun. None of us were aware that it had begun to snow outside.

When morning came I wanted to stay, but Doc insisted I take advantage of Matt sleeping to get some food and rest. I promised I'd return in an hour with a tray for him. Chester, for once in his life was forceful and insisted that Doc load his old Navy Colt while he escorted me across the road to the Long Branch. I couldn't understand why.

"Well, forevermore Miss Kitty. I'm only doin' what I know Mr. Dillon would want. I'd make sure Bill keeps an eye on you while I take a posse and go after them fellas what bushwhacked him, but I swarn enough snow's been dumped in the time we been in Doc's office that there ain't gonna be no tracks to follow."

"Chester, I don't need protection. There's no reason those stage robbers would want to hurt me and they won't be coming to town in this weather to finish off Matt. They probably think he's lying at the side of the road dying or already dead."

"I reckon you're right Miss Kitty, but they ain't actin' like ordinary outlaws. Still, it's mighty strange they put Mr. Dillon's six-gun in his saddlebags rather than keep it for themselves; or did Mr. Dillon do that? If he put it there, why'd he do it? I need to study on it."

Bill gave me all the time off I might want after Chester and I reported on Matt's condition. Doc wasn't even sure he'd live and wouldn't know until he saw some change one way or the other. I'm still just an employee, but ever since I started keeping the books for him at the start of this new year 1867 a couple of weeks ago, he's been hinting that I could become a partner as soon as I get the money together. Chester, like the dear sweet man he is, walked me back across to Doc's office after we ate breakfast carrying the tray and would have escorted me home had I asked. Instead, I told both him and Doc that I wasn't going anywhere until after Matt awoke or it was obvious he never would.

Chester walked to the jailhouse so folks would know there was someone who stood for the law that was able to do something about it. Of course, people didn't expect him to do as much as Matt, but even with it being winter and most of the folks in town being permanent residents, they wanted to know at least the assistant of the man the government provided to keep the peace was on duty. He'd do his best and that had to be enough. Still, despite what I'd told him, I had one of those uneasy feelings Matt is prone to get just before trouble strikes.


	5. Chapter 5 - What Don't I Remember?

**Chapter 5 – What Don't I Remember?**

I opened my eyes to a sunlit bedroom. If I'd simply been asleep for the night why was it I felt so weak and my left shoulder and head throbbed? I didn't feel I had the strength to try and sit up so I lay there thinking, trying to remember how I got hurt before checking to see if I'd been tended to or had simply made it to bed on my own. As my brain cleared somewhat I tried to raise my right hand, but there was resistance.

"Kitty!" I cried out. "Where are you?"

It was a hand resting in mine that had prevented me from raising it. I learned that as soon as I turned my head and saw a red-haired vision right out of a man's daydream. I started to say something to try to find out if she was real, but she spoke first.

"I'm right here, Cowboy. Welcome back."

"I don't know if I dreamt it, but I thought you were in trouble. I reckon I was wrong."

"Is that a fact? As you can see, I'm perfectly fine, which is more than I can say for you."

Just then a short, older man walked into the room and immediately took hold of my right wrist as soon as Kitty stepped aside. I was being cared for and with that realization I remembered where I was and who the two people with me were. I was in Doc Adams' back room with him and Kitty Russell. They must have been pretty worried if both of them were at my bedside.

Memories began to flood back as Doc poked and prodded me, listened to my chest and admired his handiwork. Again I was about to speak, but this time Doc beat me to it.

"You're not in too bad shape for a man who's been knocked on the head, shot, managed to sit a horse for who knows how many miles and was unconscious for 36 hours, thanks to your personal physician. What's the last thing you remember, Matt?"

"Chester handed me a note about those stage robbers and as soon as he brought my horse round I took off after them. Then I woke up here sure that Kitty was in danger. Glad I was wrong about that."

Somehow the outlaws outsmarted me. That didn't explain why I rode back here and didn't stay to fight it out with them. It didn't make sense that I'd hightail it back to town until I'd dealt with them. Could Chester have them locked in the cells out back of my office? It was possible but not likely since neither Doc nor Kitty mentioned anything about me riding in with prisoners. Were they still at the hideout where I'd confronted them? I'd ride out there as soon as I could, wherever it is, but right now even I had to admit I didn't feel up to it.

Doc still wanted to keep an eye on me, especially since I still had a gap in my memory. I couldn't even remember which direction I'd rode out of town in or that I saw him and Kitty returning let alone what went on when I met up with the gang. I knew I'd done that or else I wouldn't have been shot or have a lump on my head. I wish I knew which came first, then maybe I could start to make some sense out of it including why I was still convinced I had to protect Kitty or she'd be hurt and hurt bad.

Two of my three closest friends were trying to decide who should go out for supper when the third, Chester, walked into the outer office. The door to the back room was open so Doc peeked out to see who it was, beckoning him to join us. By this time a stack of pillows propped me up so I could more easily swallow the beef broth, which was only thing Doc would let me have for my first meal. Kitty was heating it on Doc's stove.

"Mr. Dillon, it's a pure pleasure to see you awake and sittin' up. I been at the jail, but if there's anythin' you want me to do, I'm ready."

"Thanks, Chester. Who's guarding the prisoners while you're up here with me?"

"We ain't got no prisoners to guard. Dodge has been real quiet since before you was hurt."

Doc was trying to shush Chester, but he paid him no mind. What made him clam up after letting me know I hadn't arrested anyone when I went out after the robbers was Kitty returning with a bowl of soup on a tray. I was suddenly starved for anything, even clear broth, so I picked up the spoon as soon as she placed the tray with its little stand across my lap and began spooning the warm liquid into my mouth. Doc smiled at that and sent Chester and Kitty scooting out the door to Delmonico's. Kitty wouldn't be back until morning so she could begin her shift at the Long Branch. Chester was to bring back a tray for Doc and something solid for me in case I was still hungry.

I did wind up eating a plate of antelope stew. I think Doc was quite pleased with my appetite. I half expected Kitty to stop by again as soon as she could get some time off. After all, it's winter and a snowstorm had come through while I was unconscious so the Long Branch couldn't have been that crowded. I tried to keep awake until she arrived. I couldn't. Thanks to my weakened state, the stew and that bitter stuff Doc insists I take to ease the pain and make me sleep I found I couldn't keep my eyes open after no more than a couple of hours had passed.

Chester awakened me before dawn the next morning when he came by looking for Kitty and Doc to join him for breakfast before bringing back a tray for me. He'd gone to the Long Branch last night to escort her home, but she wasn't there. Both he and Bill assumed she'd left to stay with me, so he didn't bother about it. Instead he decided he might as well turn in for the night and headed directly to his cot in the corner of my office. I was worried. I knew Doc wouldn't approve of me leaving so I waited until Doc went to get something from his desk before telling Chester to sneak my gun and a change of clothes, including my winter coat, to me.

Doc was worried as well about Kitty. To my surprise when he and Chester returned with a breakfast tray for me, Chester was carrying everything I'd need to face the Kansas winter.

"Matt, I don't think you're strong enough yet to go gallivanting all over the countryside, but with Kitty missing, I know I can't stop you. All I ask is you rest as much as you can on your way back after you find her and get back in bed once you bring her home."

With that admonition, which I already planned to ignore, I made my way down Doc's stairs to the street, my head still bandaged and my left arm in a sling under my coat to protect my wounded shoulder. I questioned Bill, Fred and whoever else was working last night until I learned it was midnight when Kitty was last seen. She was leaving the saloon to first stop by to check on me and, if I was sound asleep, to head to her room at Ma Smalley's. There were no signs of a struggle anywhere along her path until we came to the alley just before the boardinghouse. Someone was pulled into it. However, there were so many foot and hoof prints it was impossible to tell which direction they took her in and Chester, for once, hadn't read the note before handing it to me. I had to find the messenger, Chug Kenney.

We found him in that alley. A groan led us to him. The boy's only 15 and slight. It would be easy for a bully to beat him within an inch of his life and somebody had. Amazingly, he was still conscious, but we had to get him up to Doc's right away. Between us Chester and I got him to his feet and half-walked, half-dragged him up Doc's stairs. Doc had only started to examine him when he put up a hand to stop him so he could talk.

"Marshal, I saw two men take Miss Kitty. I never saw either of them before. They dragged her to that abandoned house facing Third Street. The side of it runs along the alley behind Ma Smalley's There's a back entrance near the junction with the alley where you found me."

That speech seemed to take everything out of Chug. I couldn't be sure he was still alive, but there was no time to waste. Doc could take care of the boy. I needed to rescue Kitty but not before a stop by my office so Chester and I could grab a couple of rifles. I had a feeling they just might come in handy."


	6. Chapter 6 - Can You Escape Your Past?

**Chapter 6 – Can You Ever Escape Your Past?**

When I left Matt's side to return to work I thought I'd stop by to see him before I headed to my room over at Ma Smalley's boardinghouse. I now knew he'd recover so I didn't need to stay with him and watch while he slept for any sign he might take a turn for the worse. Thanks to the snowstorm the night before business was slow at the Long Branch yet busy enough that I didn't feel I could leave early. Bill Pence is the best employer a saloon girl could want, but I didn't want to take advantage of his good nature or force one of the other girls to take over for me yet again. Therefore, I stayed until the barroom had cleared out – about a half-hour before my shift ended.

I started to cross the street toward Doc's office so I could say goodnight to Doc and, if he were awake, Matt when I felt something hard pressed into my back through my cloak. I could also feel the presence of the man wielding that pistol as he breathed in my ear.

"That big marshal friend of yours is gone. We was gonna use him to lure you out to our place, but him and the snow spoiled those plans. Instead, the fella what wanted you come back to town. I'll take you to him now."

There was nothing I could do about it for the moment so I did as I was told and strolled down the street with him as if he were someone I'd decided to keep company with for a time. Although since I began helping with the books regularly I'd been selling myself with much less frequency, I still occasionally went with a customer to the room assigned to me upstairs at the Long Branch or to his room if I liked his looks, his general behavior and his money. This definitely wasn't one of those occasions and my captor knew it.

I thought my opportunity to escape his grip came when we were at the alley just before we reached Ma's. He stepped back a pace so the gun no longer pressed as hard into the small of my back and his hold on my arm wasn't quite as firm. I started to pull away, hoping to run for the boardinghouse door and get inside before he caught me. Instead another man reached out from the alley and grabbed me as the first man closed in again, but without the gun. Together they dragged me down the alley to the backdoor of a house that had belonged to a couple that decided Dodge City wasn't the right place for them to raise a family.

They could just as easily have continued on toward the front of the house because at that time of night nobody was gonna look out the back of Ma Smalley's. For that matter, the town limits were Third Avenue so even during midday there wasn't any traffic to speak of. As it was, we went right past Matt's rented room in her boardinghouse with its private entrance on the alley. Of course, he wasn't there. My captors had chosen well. I just couldn't figure out why they wanted me and had been willing to use Matt to get to me. Very few knew how close we were becoming, including us.

They hadn't tried to knock me out before and I already knew where we were headed, so it made no sense that the one behind me put his arm around me so he could hold a foul-smelling cloth over my mouth and nose. I must have blanked out because the next thing I knew I was at the door to the house with only a vague memory of them leaning me against Matt's door and hearing the sounds of someone being beaten. At least it wasn't Matt, who was safe back at Doc's office. I could only hope it wasn't Chester trying to rescue me.

My answer to why I was brought there came when I awoke as the backdoor opened and I was unceremoniously pulled inside the abandoned house. I was about to scream despite being certain that there wasn't a soul in the vicinity who cared enough to investigate when a strong right arm encircled my neck, the hand covering my mouth. The voice that spoke was familiar, but I didn't fully recognize him until I nodded my agreement to keep quiet and he spun me around to face him while holding me at arms' length. It was the man Matt had tossed out of the Long Branch and out of Dodge three nights ago, Strom Bucklin.

"You may think you escaped me in Abilene last year when I come through there, but despite that Yankee lawman they got there tossin' me out like the version here done, I come back there and learned you come west. I wasn't sure this was where you settled until there you was in the flesh in that saloon, but not all the flesh I hope to see and feel under me. Yankee law or not I decided I'd possess you until I was done. I woulda spent more time with you if my unit hadn't pulled out of Laredo and if I had more money back durin' the war. I got money now, so your boss won't be hurtin' for money no matter what he charges, includin' the extra for sharin' you with my two partners here. Best of all, unlike Abilene I got rid of your protection permanent, so you're mine unless Mr. L'Hommedieu tells my old man and Francois' old man different."

When he said that I remembered all I'd suffered at the hands of his brutal father, his father's employer and son and the even more brutal man who now held me captive. At least I no longer had to contend with his father Rhett and the Bucklins' loathsome employer Henri Villon and his son Francois after I was spirited away to Laredo from that riverboat in New Orleans just before the war, not long after my 14th birthday, or so I thought. He didn't need to remind me about what I suffered at his hands later that year when his unit passed through that west Texas town along the Mexican border. It's why I asked Bill Hickok, who'd become a friend during my stay in Abilene, to find an excuse to run him out of town before he found me and why Matt needed no more of a reason than the way Bucklin grabbed me in the Long Branch to do the same here.

There wasn't much in the way of furniture in that two-room house. The main room was bare except for a hearthrug with a couple of chairs and a divan on it in front of the fireplace in which a fire was currently roaring, keeping the outside cold at bay and, at least when it was last occupied, a curtained off kitchen area with a table and a couple of benches, a stove, an icebox and a cabinet with what food and utensils there were to cook and eat it with. It was night so I doubted we'd be making use of it, but I noticed the three men had fired up the stove since they'd taken over the house so it was ready for cooking breakfast come morning if they decided I should do that with whatever food was in the larder.

The other room was the bedroom. Two bedrolls were thrust in the corners opposite the double bed in the nearly square room. The bed stuck out into the middle of the room between the two windows on the back wall. Even with the door open it was chilly compared to the main room despite the chimney running up the wall between the two rooms. Bucklin pulled me into that room and threw me onto the bed, closing the door behind him. Before I had a chance to move or fight him, he removed my shoes, tossing them to the floor behind him. Then, straddling my legs, he sat me upright so he could pull my dress over my head, leaving me clad in only corset, panties and stockings. Then he slid further up my body, grabbed a rope he'd already placed under the pillow my head wouldn't be resting on and, thrusting my hands together over my head, tied them to a bedstead slat.

"Tug, Francois! She's secured for the night so you can grab your bedrolls and close the door after you. You two can sleep by the fire while I get cozy with Red here. Barely dressed as she is and, unlike me, on top of the blankets, she'll be more then ready for first me, and then you two to warm her up while we have our jollies come morning. By afternoon, after she's cooked us a meal, we'll head out to what's now the Villon farm. My daddy and your daddy, acting as agents for all four of us, bought it as our joint homestead with L'Hommedieu blessings as long as we don't mar that pretty face or cripple her. That stagecoach money sure came in handy."

I was stuck spending the night with Strom Bucklin before facing the other two who held me, Francois Villon, who I now recognized, and a stranger, and later Henri Villon and Rhett Bucklin somewhere outside of town. Once the door closed, Strom stripped down to his long johns and slid beneath the sheet and blankets covering the bed, leaning over and forcing his lips onto mine despite my efforts to turn away. My movements were limited because my tied hands held me in place. After the kiss he turned so that his body was against mine, his arms holding me in place.

"Pleasant dreams, Kitty Russell. "I'll try to keep you from getting too cold until I'm ready to fully warm your naked body with a good strong beating and the most man you've had since I was last inside you. I trust you've learned some things about how to please a man in the past five or so years. You've sure filled out in all the right ways."


	7. Chapter 7 - Will I Get to Her in Time?

**Chapter 7 – Will I Get to Her in Time?**

Chester and I raced back to the alley where we'd found Chug Kenney. I still didn't know who had her, but I had a hunch they were somehow connected to the stagecoach robbery. Maybe they saw us together and figured she's more than just a good friend or maybe they think that's enough to keep me from going after them. Then again, it has to be more than that or I wouldn't feel she's in real and immediate danger even if they're planning on going after the army's gold shipment. Spoilers don't harm their hostage unless or until they no longer serve a purpose. I've been a lawman long enough to have learned that.

When we got to the door to my room, I sent Chester around to the front of the house where they were holding her with his shotgun while I made my way to the back toward the kitchen door and window. We'd check for a lookout and for how many were inside and meet along the side nearest Ma Smalley's back porch before I climbed in through the bedroom window if it was unlocked and Chester busted through the front door. Nobody was in the kitchen or on lookout and the two men in the front room were asleep in front of the fire. I motioned for Chester to move back to the front and kick the door down if it was locked while I made my way toward the two bedroom windows. I still wasn't absolutely sure they had Kitty because I'd yet to peek into that bedroom, but all my instincts told me I was guessing right.

When I finally did look through the window into the bedroom, I wasted no time getting inside. Even if the window I tried hadn't been unlocked I would have bashed the glass with my Colt and fired if the man beside her stirred before I could get inside. I recognized him as the one I'd thrown out of Dodge after he grabbed her the other night in the Long Branch even if I didn't remember his name. I now remember that Kitty had told me all about him when I walked her home that night. Since the window wasn't locked I quietly slid it open and stepped over the sill a bit awkwardly since I was favoring my left shoulder even if it was in the sling Doc insisted I wear. I closed to within arm's length of the bed in the semi-darkness of breaking dawn to look at her lying there shivering with the cold despite being held against Bucklin's blanket-covered body.

She must have sensed my presence because she opened her eyes as I slipped my left arm out of the sling and reached across as best I could to where my knife rested in my right hand pants pocket. She saw from my expression that she needed to keep absolutely quiet and still so as not to wake her captor. Finally, keeping the pistol cocked and aimed at Bucklin with my right hand, I sliced through the rope holding her hands against the headboard before I stepped back and spoke just as Chester, who'd waited the five minutes I'd asked, burst through the front door.

"Get behind me, Kitty!" I ordered her. "Bucklin, you're under arrest!"

From the other room I heard Chester say, "I got them, Mr. Dillon. They was asleep but woke up real cooperative like when they saw my shotgun. I got their weapons."

"Thanks, Chester. I'll bring Bucklin over to join you. Kitty's safe with me."

While I was talking with Chester Kitty was getting dressed as rapidly as she could. Bucklin seemed to accept the change despite the fact his mouth was gaping open in surprise. It didn't take long for him to regain his composure and make his move.

"I thought I killed you out at the farm. How'd you manage to ride ten miles in the snow with the lump on the head my daddy gave you and my bullet in your shoulder?" he asked as he went for his own 44 hanging in its holster on the end of the headboard.

I wasn't feeling entirely myself but I still managed to get off a shot before he could aim toward me or even worse Kitty who was now fully dressed and standing behind my left shoulder looking at the blood seeping through the bandage and my shirt since without me realizing it she'd started to slip my jacket off so she could snuggle against me and wrap it around her without forcing my attention and gun away from Bucklin. I could feel her shivering as I watched the piece of scum drop his gun and grab for his right side.

"Get up! I don't care how bad you're hurt. Open the door and join the other filth in the front room."

He did as he was told, not even making a second try to get away and hurt me further by grabbing for Kitty. He turned the doorknob so the door could open inward, but before it did, a shotgun blast rang out.

I stuck the barrel of my pistol into the small of his back and shoved him ahead of me into the room. Chester was still standing there, but one barrel of his shotgun was smoking.

"That one there didn't believe me when I said I'd shoot if he moved. I had to kill him Mr. Dillon. He was trying for his rifle and to get into the room with you."

"That's okay Chester. We'll send someone by later to pick him up for burial on Boot Hill. Right now let's get these two to jail and Kitty someplace warm. Kit, take the dead man's coat for now. I'm not feeling too warm myself so I think I'll need mine on the longer trip back to the jail and then to see Doc. Could you do me a big favor before you go? Would you put my arm back in the sling and button my coat for me?"

Kitty had no problem with doing what I asked while Bucklin and his partner stood side-by-side watching us, and our weapons. By now Bucklin was noticeably paler. If we didn't get started he might not make it on his own to the cell that awaited him. We left, taking the shortest distance we could through the back door to the alley. Kitty left us to enter Ma Smalley's through her back door while Chester, our prisoners and I walked on toward Front Street and the office. I stayed only long enough to make sure the two were securely locked into their cells before I headed out the door to see Doc before I had to hold onto whatever support I could to get there.


	8. Chapter 8 - Is It Me or a Death Wish?

**Chapter 8 – Was It for Me or Does He Have a Death Wish?**

Matt should never have come to that house to rescue me. I don't mean that Chester could have handled it on his own, although he did very well. I mean Matt should have sent someone else to help Chester while he remained in bed. At least this time he didn't defy Doc out of pride like he did with Dan Grat or did he? I hope he risked his health and maybe his life for me, but I can't be sure. Even if it's true he did it for me, I don't want him to make that sacrifice. Then again, the way he tackles his job it's easy to think he wants to die a hero even if he has to be a fool to do it all in service to that badge and the oath he swore when he pinned it on.

The one thing I do know is that tall handsome marshal should never have taken his arm out of that sling to reach for his pocketknife so he could cut the ropes around my wrists to allow me to get away before Bucklin could use me as a shield and kill us both while Chester had his hands full with the other two. No matter what his reasons for doing what he did, I'm worried about him. Did he lock Bucklin and Villon away and then make it to Doc's before he collapsed? He was bleeding pretty badly when I selfishly went inside Ma Smalley's so I could change clothes and warm up enough to stop shivering. A little chill shouldn't have stopped me from making sure Matt got to Doc before he collapsed in the street.

All this concern for Matt and what he should or shouldn't have done and what I didn't do can mean only one thing. He's become more than my best friend. Then again, I've never had a best friend who's a man. Perhaps all this fretting is no more than being a close friend. Still I can't change what I did or worry about what it all means now. I can only see how things are with him now.

I left the boardinghouse and walked down Front Street, briefly stopping by the jail on my way. Chester was lying on his cot, reading one of those penny dreadful magazines he thinks we don't know about. He jumped up, stuffing the magazine under his pillow when I cleared my throat, to offer me a cup of coffee, but I declined. I stayed only long enough to learn the two remaining kidnappers were locked up and Matt had gone on to see Doc. Thanking him, I hurried on down the street and up the stairs to Doc's office.

Doc wasn't in his examining room, but the door was open to the back room and I could hear him half-heartedly lecturing Matt, at least I hoped it wasn't another patient. Despite my trepidation at what I might find, I boldly walked up to the entrance and rapped on the jamb.

"Well, what do you know," Doc said as he turned his head away from his patient and turned in my direction. "Here's the young lady responsible for your turn for the worse now. Come on in Kitty. What you heard me tell that stubborn man is just a useless attempt to get him to follow doctor's orders. He'd be in far worse shape if I'd seriously tried to stop him from rescuing you."

"Hello to you too, Doc. I agree I might not be standing here unharmed if you and Chester instead of Matt and Chester tried to get me out of the clutches of those three ruffians. Still Matt, it would have been much better if you hadn't taken your arm out of the sling to untie me. I could easily have waited until you two subdued them."

"Kitty, you know I couldn't do that even if I did rip apart Doc's fine sewing and start to bleed. I couldn't take a chance Bucklin would use you as a shield. From what you told me that first night, he's quite capable of doing just that."

I love that man, but of course I haven't told him that and not only because I just realized it myself. I'm afraid if I did it would ruin everything we've built between us. Still I'm flattered he'd risk his health for me. Then again, maybe if I tell him how I feel it won't drive him away. It's obvious he cares for me, but he's been hurt in some way that he can't even tell me, his best friend, why he distances himself from others, even those few he shares some flicker of his emotion with. I couldn't bear to lose what little he's willing to share with me.

Doc steered me out of the room so Matt could give in to the powders he'd given him and fall asleep, closing the door behind him. We talked quietly for a few minutes going over what Matt had done and what he needed to do to fully recover. Then the topic switched to Chester and his virtues and foibles. I wondered if this was what it was like to sit with a father in more than name to try and sort out your feelings while gaining a man's perspective. When he decided enough time had past, he inched the back room door open to make sure Matt was now sound asleep. Only then did he offer his arm to escort me to a late breakfast. Even so, we both hoped that stubborn man would remain in bed the short time we were gone.

Our meal finished, we exited the restaurant to make our way back toward Doc's office and my place of employment. Bill Pence would be glad to see me since it's Saturday. Even if the crowds are smaller outside of cattle season, folks still like to enjoy themselves carousing and drinking on a Saturday night as long as the winter weather doesn't interfere. We do get our fair share of blizzards on the high plains – something I'm not quite used to despite the years in Abilene and now in Dodge.

Bill was indeed glad to see me and in one piece at that. He asked if I was ready to put in a full shift and was pleased when I told him I was. Despite Matt being hurt, it looked like my adopted home was heading for a normal winter night. Of course, I'm no expert on normal for Dodge City except what I've experienced in the few months I've lived here and what Matt, Doc and Chester have told me. I went upstairs to change into one of the short and revealing work dresses I leave in the wardrobe of my assigned room here so I'd be ready for the pre-supper customers. According to Bill a poker game would be starting in a half-hour and he wanted me to represent the house.

The house was ahead by $1,000, ten percent of which was mine, when Emil Wortheimer, our town blacksmith, came running in. Doc had sent him to get help. He'd made arrangements to shoe Matt and Chester's horses and had just returned them to Moss Grimack's stable when he and Moss saw two older men rush past followed closely by two younger ones. When he reached the jailhouse nobody responded to his knock but he heard what he thought was a moan from inside. Chester was sprawled on the floor with blood running down his cheek and the jail cell doors were open. Jake Worth and Emmett Bowers were among those who were losing to my poker skills. They immediately volunteered to help Doc get Chester up to his office after any necessary initial treatment. The poker game was over. I turned the pot over to Bill to put in the safe and made my way to Matt, whom I hoped was still in bed in Doc's back room.

Matt was not only still there; he was awake. If he hadn't been, I don't know what would have happened because Henri Villon had followed me up the stairs and into Doc's office. Matt, who had somehow pushed himself up so that he was sitting upright against the pillows in front of the headboard had heard the slight sound that Villon made as he opened and closed the door. He indicated that I should move as quickly as possible to the far side of the bed as he turned his body so that he both shielded me and could see the former plantation owner enter the room with his derringer pointed and cocked in front of him ready to fire at Matt if necessary.

He seemed surprised to see Matt not only awake, but holding his own more powerful pistol in his right hand. Both fired, but Matt, even in his weakened state, was quicker and more accurate. The small derringer slug missed him and embedded itself in the floor next to where I was standing while Villon fell to the floor by the door.

"I thought I only had Russell's whore of a daughter to take with me. The pistol was only a means of persuasion. If you were still breathing, I'd smother you with one of the pillows and would wound her only if she tried to stop me. How did you and the jailer manage to subdue my son and my overseer's son and kill another man when you should have died in the storm?"

"I didn't, but it looks like the same can't be said for you. I'd kill you again if you ever repeat what you said about Kitty," Matt added as Henri Villon breathed his last.


	9. Chapter 9 - How Do I Keep Her Safe?

**Chapter 9 – How Do I Keep Her Safe?**

The appearance of the now dead Henri Villon and his final words were eating at me. Could he have busted the younger Villon and Bucklin out of jail, or at least made the attempt? I looked at Kitty who started to speak.

"Doc will have my head, but I'd better help you get dressed, Cowboy. We both need to get out of here."

I wanted to ask her why, but there wasn't time. I could sense she was in immediate danger and I had to find a way to protect her. I was soon fully dressed with my gun belt buckled around my hips and my coat on and pushed back so I'd have easy access to the peacemaker I wore if it became necessary. I opened the door and was surprised to see Doc there his right hand stretched out in front of him ready to grab and turn the knob on his office door.

"Matt," he said to my surprise. "I'm glad Kitty got you up and dressed. Both of you need to get out of here. It's the first place they'll look for you. Besides, I need your bed for Chester."

Kitty and I, after staring at each other for a few seconds, stayed long enough to tell him about the dead man on the floor of his back room and for me to learn what happened to Chester. Kitty already knew but didn't have a chance to tell me. We hurried down the stairs as fast as we could and took the back alleys toward my office. We did glance toward Front Street long enough before we left to see Chester, supported by Emil Wohlheimer and Jake Worth, being half carried up Doc's stairs, his head bleeding. I hoped he'd be okay, but I knew he was in good hands. Right now I had to get Kitty out of there and safely hidden until I could deal with the three remaining members of the gang. I didn't tell Kitty but I now knew they were the ones behind the stage robbery and remembered what happened at their hideout on the old Fulton place ten miles east of town.

I was pretty sure it was either Henri Villon or the one member I hadn't yet seen who hit me over the head. At least I'd recognize Francois Villon and the wounded Strom Bucklin. I no longer had to worry about Tug Latimer or Henri Villon anymore. I suspected they were back at the house behind Ma Smalley's that faced Third Street rather than Walnut because the wounded Bucklin couldn't travel the ten miles out to their other place. Besides, I had a hunch they still hoped to get their hands on that gold shipment that was due in on Monday.

Our first stop was my office. I wanted to be sure Kitty would be able to defend herself. I handed her a shotgun and showed her how to load the two shells. She nodded as if she'd never held a shotgun before. Actually, I felt she was already familiar with the weapon from when she quit Laredo rather suddenly. Then I gave her a handful more shells so she could reload it. I sure hoped that wouldn't be necessary. I grabbed a rope that Chester liked to fool with and a couple of pairs of handcuffs that I slipped into the depths of my coat pockets. The next stop was my room. I gave Kitty the key and told her to open the door. Nobody would ever guess this is where she was. Only Ma, Doc, Kitty and Chester even knew this was my room even if they suspected Kitty and I were closer than a respectable man usually was with a saloon girl.

Once I got Kitty settled in my room, I told her to lock the door as soon as I left and not even reply if someone knocked on the door but said nothing. She understood that she was only to acknowledge she was there if it was me on the outside because I'd be the only one who should know she was there. I hoped what I planned wouldn't take more than an hour and hoped she'd use my bed in the meantime to get some rest if I was gone more than a couple of hours.

Kitty might be safe for now, but I had to get to the remaining three members of the gang so she'd remain that way. I sure didn't care about the danger to me. Heck, that comes with the job. Still, even with one of the three, Strom Bucklin, wounded, the odds were stacked against me. Chester, who'd normally back me up, was at Doc's and my left arm was still in a sling and too sore for me to consider using it to fire a weapon of any sort and forget about using it in a fistfight. I needed help from someone I could trust.

I'd moved into the shadows and was still facing the abandoned house when a wiry man a few years older than me and about six inches shorter exited from the backdoor and walked toward the privy. I edged forward, keeping out of sight against the wall of the privy where I could see when he emerged without him seeing me. As soon as Francois Villon stepped out the door I whacked his head with the side of my Colt and used the rope to tie him to a small tree that grew beside the little shack. Once he was secure, I used his own handkerchief to gag him.

Now that the odds were more even, I moved stealthily closer to the house and peeked in through a window. There were two men inside seated opposite each other at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. A third cup, obviously belonging to Villon, was visible to the left of the wounded Strom Bucklin. The other man, whose face was toward me, had to be Strom's father Rhett.

"Daddy, you think Masseur Henri got that Yankee that shot me and is on his way back here with our prize? That's the third time Dillon, that's his name, kept me from her if you count out at the farm. I know you enjoyed her back in New Orleans before the Yankees spoiled things."

"I'm sure he's got things in hand, son. None of them Yankees is smart enough to keep us down for long. We'll have a very enjoyable evening and in the morning move in on that gold shipment before heading back to our land. Without that lawman they'll never connect us to it if we don't spend it and the stage money all at once. She'll grow accustomed to living out there with us. She's all ours until we hear otherwise."

I didn't like the sound of that. I had to get them, but not through the kitchen where they'd be aware of me too soon. Instead I moved around to the front of the building and walked in the front where the door Chester had busted down earlier swung quietly open. I stepped into the kitchen, my gun drawn.

"Stand up very slowly with your hands held high. You're under arrest."

Instead of following my instructions Strom went for a gun I hadn't seen that was lying on the table, but I was quicker. He fell back – dead. The older Bucklin upon hearing the shots spun around ready to fire, but I got off my second shot before he could pull the trigger. Feeling almost too cocky, because I now thought I had dealt with the whole gang, I came close to not noticing Francois' return. Somehow he'd slipped the rope I tied him to the tree with one-handed. If he'd been a tad more accurate he would have had me. Instead his bullet whizzed past my left ear as I fired and hit him dead center.

I waited only a minute or two to make sure all three weren't ever gonna move again before stepping over them on my way back to Kitty. She had to have heard the shots as did the Ma and any of her borders who happened to be home. I hurried for my door to get her before anyone realized where she was.

Where she was? Why was I worried about what Ma Smalley and her boarders thought? Shouldn't I be rushing home to let Kitty know I'm safe and it's all over?


	10. Chapter 10 - Can I Trust Him?

**Chapter 10 – Can I Trust Him?**

I heard the shooting but tried to shut it out of my mind. Matt was already hurt. He couldn't take any more bullets and survive, could he? Maybe it had nothing to do with those men that wanted to use me. I can now admit I'd fallen in love with him practically at first sight, but I didn't really know him despite how much we seemed to have in common, like being only children and orphans having to make it on our own at a young age. We both have kept parts of our inner selves hidden. It comes with learning to depend on yourself because there's no guarantee anyone will be there for you. It also means a certain amount of distrust when it comes to what others might do or really believe. We seem so free with each other, but could it be that one of those things he kept to himself was that while he's able to accept me as a close friend, he would never consider me to be his girl because of the life I've been forced to live?

Why am I asking myself these things? Is it because I'm scared I've lost him because he's been killed or because I'm scared I haven't? Is what I feel about him more than infatuation and do I really want something more? I've never told him about Cole Yankton or even much about my life before I became a saloon girl earning part of her living by selling her body. I sure haven't told him why. I haven't told him much more than my mother died when I was ten and that I'd become really good at poker. He's seen proof of that last bit and that I entertain men. Deep down does that make a difference to him?

"Kitty, you can open the door. It's all over."

His voice brought me out of my reverie, but didn't ease my concerns. I quickly opened the door to let him inside so I could at least visually check him for any new injuries. He walked in, quickly scanned the room for anything not his, grabbed up the few items I'd brought with me and, taking my arm, escorted me out the door, taking back the key so he could relock the door. Still holding onto my arm, he maintained a pace that strained my ability to keep up with him until we reached the end of the alley and Front Street. It was then I finally got a glance at his face, but I needn't have bothered because his marshal's I'm in charge so don't worry folks look was all I saw.

At least he gave me his arm as we walked to the front of Ma's boardinghouse. It proves nothing. No matter how he feels about a woman Matt would do that because he's always a perfect gentleman. Believe me I know when a man's a gentleman. Even with as little time as I spent in that seminary for proper young ladies and in the company of my mother's family and Lucy Chrit's family, I'd learned how ladies and gentlemen were expected to behave. My time in saloons has allowed me to perfect the ability to implement those early lessons. It's how I choose special customers and I'm most always right. Trouble is, I want Matt to be more than well behaved if we decide to share a bed.

"You all can go back to what you were doing. Everything's under control," Matt told the small crowd that had gathered at the entrance. "Kitty, do you want me to escort you back to work or are you home for the night?"

"I've a bit more to go on my shift. I came home because I forgot something in my room. I'll go get it now. All that shooting made me run for cover at the side of the house. I'm sure you have things to do Marshal, so if you'd rather not wait, I can walk myself back to the Long Branch."

"There are three dead men at the house behind here," Matt remarked as the lawman in him took over again before he surprised me and added. "I'd appreciate it if some of you took care of the bodies for me while I see Miss Russell safely back to her job."

His request and the time it took for the men to move toward the task and for the women to disburse allowed me to pretend to go to my room for the non-existent forgotten item. Matt stood on the porch patiently waiting. Upon my return he placed my arm in his and walked with me back toward the center of town. Our first stop was his office to put the shotgun he'd leant me back in the rack. Next, we stopped at Doc's office to check on Chester. Chester was awake, but with a very bad headache and, according to Doc, a slight concussion. We didn't stay long. Finally, he walked with me to the Long Branch at the start of his early rounds.

After his late rounds Matt walked me home. Both of us were physically more relaxed now that the gold shipment was safe, the stagecoach robberies were solved and men from my past were no longer a threat to either of us. That didn't mean I felt completely at ease. I was still full of questions. Were my feelings for Matt reciprocated? I didn't know. In fact, I wasn't sure if I wanted our friendship to deepen into something more no matter how he felt about it. If I were his girl, would he want to control me under the guise of protecting me? So far my experience with men, even Cole and what little bit of interaction I'd had with my father, hadn't been for the best.


	11. Chapter 11 - Follow My Head or Heart?

Some quotes near the end of this chapter are from the radio episode Kitty, but they're supplemented with my own additions to what was said. All other references are to first season TV episodes.

**Chapter 11 – Should I Follow My Head or My Heart?**

I kept returning in my head to why I felt I had to hide the fact that Kitty had been in my room. Was a part of me ashamed that the town might think I was taking advantage of my position as marshal to use her like men did any saloon or dancehall girl but without paying for it? Fact is why should I care what the respectable citizens thought? Kitty didn't savor that part of how she made her living, but she wasn't ashamed of it either. I knew it was a life she was forced into as a young, motherless girl because otherwise her life would have been very short. She kept with selling her body so she could save enough to be able to quit and still be financially secure enough to be sure she had a roof over her head, enough food to eat and clothes to wear that didn't become rags before she discarded them. I hoped I was thinking only of her best interests. Since getting to know her, I'd grown to respect her or was I judging her deep down as not being fully worthy?

Kitty's problem may have ended, but I had a brand new one only weeks after healing from the injuries brought on by the tangling with the men from her past. Jeremy Stoner took it into his head that he was obligated to kill the nesters that are proving up and claiming free government land to prevent the ruination of the prairie. He didn't want to hear anything contrary from me and so tried to prevent his arrest by firing his rifle at me, forcing me to kill him. While I wasn't happy about it, that wasn't my problem. It was that his wife Sarah putting a $1,000 price on my head was causing me to constantly look over my shoulder. Kitty took great exception to Mrs. Stoner's reasoning and subsequent actions. She told the old woman off. Mrs. Stoner is one of those respectable women around town who thinks a woman like Kitty because of her profession can't comprehend loving a man enough to do whatever she can for him. Lucky for me Mrs. Stoner came to her senses thanks in part to Mrs. Reeves, the nester woman whose husband Mr. Stoner murdered and whose son I was forced to kill when he tried to collect on the award.

Maybe Kitty's become a bit too fond of me. I may just have to explain to her how things are. A lawman can't have a relationship with a woman and build a family with her. The badge has to come first if he's to do his job properly. Being best friends is one thing. Being her man is another. Or is that all I'm worried about? Is that still why I want to keep it a secret that Kitty was in my room despite a perfectly good explanation after all this time? I know it was the safest place for her to be at the time. Then and now, I'm relieved that she came up with a reason for her being on the scene when I shot those men that kept me and my room out of it.

January turned into February and February into March and I still worried about the nature of our connection to each other. During the quieter times before the cattle season I managed to find more than enough to keep Chester and me busy so I didn't have much time to think about my feelings toward Kitty beyond acknowledging our close friendship. That is until Nip Cullers came to town and decided she was gonna be his bride. I laughed it off at first until Cullers arranged for the preacher to marry them. Kitty put her foot down as only she can and I finally decided things were serious enough that I had to step in and put a stop to it like she'd been asking me to do from almost the start. I told him to get out of town unless he let her alone. What surprised me was that it wasn't so much his delusion that she'd marry him when I threatened him, but that I saw him as the one interfering between a man and his girl. How can I have let that happen?

It didn't take me long to realize Kitty sure feels that way. I realized that after she believed that I actually thought her guilty of shooting Cullers full of buckshot until we were in Doc's office to reveal his housekeeper had been the shooter and we were about to leave. She made it clear that she expected me to court her, but couldn't imagine waiting 20 years for us to marry. I said nothing, simply escorted her back to the Long Branch. Why didn't I set her straight as soon as we left? We were alone as soon as we shut the door and headed down Doc's stairs.

There's one way I can answer my own questions about us. I can ask her out on a date to a social function where everyone in town will see I'm escorting her, but won't know if it's as a friend or because I'm willing for her to be my girl. However, I'll know after we spend that sort of evening together. A charity dance is being held at Carstairs' barn behind his harness shop. Everyone with any position in town is expected to be there to help raise funds, including me. Bill Pence made sure I bought two tickets as soon as they became available when I stopped by the Long Branch. Every matron in town and their husbands seemed to be urging me to choose their eligible daughter with hopes I'd court her afterwards. I refused them all by saying I already knew who I was taking. Fact is Kitty is the only girl in town I have any desire to take to that dance. That should tell me something despite all my reasons for not believing it's something more than friendship.

"Kitty," I told her three nights before the dance when I stopped in at the Long Branch just before her shift was about to end and they were gonna close for lack of enough customers. "You know there's this dance on Saturday night. I thought maybe you might want to go to it with me. Do you?"

"Oh Matt. I want to go to that dance with you, but I can't. People won't accept my kind at a society function like that. You should take one of the respectable girls. I'll stay here where I belong."

"I don't want to go to the dance with any of those girls. The only way I'll show up at that dance is if I go with you."

Finally, she relented. They treated her just as shabbily as she predicted and me as well for escorting her kind to a top social event. It began from the moment we arrived and continued as we strolled to the refreshment table. The woman standing next to her husband, who was serving the punch, made no effort to hide her contempt for Kitty. I immediately made it clear whose side I was on.

"If you can't behave like a lady, I think you should leave this lady's presence," I told the offensive biddy. "I'll take those drinks now," I added to her husband.

Others teased her. I heard some of the remarks, especially while we were dancing, but others were only for Kitty's ears. Finally, she'd had enough and went to get her cloak. I followed, hoping to convince her to come back inside.

"Let it go Matt," Kitty insisted. They don't mean nothing to me. You know what means something? It's that you asked me."

Her speech finished, she ran back to the Long Branch. Even then it didn't stop; at least for me. I wound up fighting a couple of drifters who had no qualms about tearing into her and me for associating with her. Once I disabused them of the notion that she was less worthy of respect than any society girl, I followed after Kitty. I had to admit, despite myself, I'd fallen for her and was ready to comfort her not simply as her friend but as her man.

When I arrived at the darkened saloon, only one of the glass doors behind the batwings was closed. I walked as quietly as my boots would allow inside and toward the left side yet away from the bar to the table by the stairs where she was sitting crying. I pulled out the chair next to hers and sat, putting my arm around her shoulder.

"Kit, honey. I'm sorry you had to go through all that, but remember it wasn't my fault for asking you or yours for accepting. It was all those polite ladies and gentlemen, so why were you crying just now?"

"It wasn't so much for me; it was for you. I wanted to cry right there in the hall watching you, knowing there was nothing you could do."

"I didn't mind. I wanted you to go with me, but I never thought they'd act as bad as they did."

"Oh Matt. That makes me happy!"

In reply I gently raised her out of her seat and led her to a clear spot between the tables and the bar and took her in my arms as if a band were playing a slow waltz. We held our private dance and I kissed her for the first time. It was only one kiss, but that's all Chester and Doc allowed us. Even so, I knew things between us had changed forever.

There was still my job, but despite it, we sought out times to be alone so we could exchange more than a single kiss. Even so, I put off getting more physical than hugging and kissing. Whenever it looked like we'd get to a point of no return, I'd hold back and explain how the chancy nature of my job didn't allow for marriage and a family. It just wasn't possible for us to be more than very special friends.

That was until May when Crego came to town just as Dodge was filling up with the first large influx of drovers from Texas. The man was a killer but I had no way to stop him except to foist him off on another town, which I wasn't about to do. I'd find a way to stop him here, but so far all that was happening was the bodies were piling up and I still couldn't arrest him.

Putting the killer and how to spot him momentarily out of my mind, I'd decided to buy a proper jacket for those few occasions that required more formal attire and picked one out. Mr. Jonas was just finishing up the alterations when Kitty walked into the store to make some purchases of her own. Despite our many talks in which I discouraged her notion that we could be an outwardly courting couple, she jokingly agreed she might consider allowing me to court her if I wore the new coat. I would have thought nothing more of our exchange if Crego hadn't come into the store and given her cause to slap him. I emerged from the back room in time to stop him from striking her in the jaw. He proved how much of a coward he is when he backed down from my challenge.

I'd wanted to get Crego from raw emotion instead of as a matter of the law. Kitty was as surprised as I was that I actually called him out in the store. Did I do it because I've fallen in love with Kitty Russell and not simply because I couldn't allow a bully to hit a woman? Perhaps it was true. Still whatever my reasons, an idea of how to deal with him began to form in my head.

It began with telling Chester to keep a sharp eye out as we walked down the boardwalk. I strode through the batwing doors of the saloon toward Crego while my assistant remained outside watching. As expected the coward at first tried to get me to join him in controlling the town and then, when I didn't alter my challenge despite his placing his gun on a table, continued to back off from a confrontation until I turned to walk out of the Long Branch onto Front Street. He went for his gun as soon as I turned my back. Chester's warning, which I'd hoped he'd have enough sense to give me in time, allowed me to spin around as I drew my peacemaker and kill Crego.

That night I walked Kitty home. When we reached the side alley that led to my private entrance she paused.

"Matt, I don't want to go to my room, at least not just yet. After this afternoon's near gunfight at Mr. Jonas' store and then the actual one at the Long Branch, I need to spend some time alone with you while you're still here to be alone with. Let's go to your room where we can talk privately."

She was right. We did need to talk. She began telling me how she felt about me and how I in her opinion felt about her. Then she set about proving it. I'd barely turned the oil lamp in the room up enough so we could see without tripping over anything when she melted into my arms. In short order our kisses became more passionate and we began to undress each other as part of our hands' attempt to explore each other's body. She broke apart from me only long enough to let what remained of the covering on her body to drop to the floor and move toward the bed to turn the covers down. I followed her, discarding my already unbuttoned shirt along the way and sat down on it.

"Let me help you get those boots off, Cowboy. Then we can slide those pants and anything else you're still wearing off," she purred as she did just that. "After today, that's what you are, my cowboy but so much more than those cowboys who come up from Texas itching to start a fight when they think they or the girl they've set their eyes on has been insulted. The difference is you're my very special cowboy and I'm not your girl only until you move on. You're stuck here, which means you're stuck with me and that's a fact."

"Is that a fact? I could move to another town. There are plenty of places that need lawmen, but I don't believe I want to be anywhere else. I reckon I'll just have to silence you like this."

With that I drew her into my arms and kissed her deeply as we fell back onto the bed. We put all the passion that had been building between us into our lovemaking that night. In the morning, despite very little sleep we were more than ready to face the day, but before we did I wanted to set up some ground rules.

"Adam Kimbro, the man who gave me my first job as a lawman taught me that the badge and a family don't mix. Despite taking that lesson seriously, you managed to make me forget that enough to fall for you. I can't seem to help how much I care about you, but it has to remain between us. The oath I swore won't allow anything else. In public, we're just very good friends and the badge will always come first as long as I wear it. Otherwise, it's just too dangerous, Kit."

"Alright Cowboy. I didn't want a relationship either or Dodge City for that matter, but you wormed your way into my heart. I'm anxious to see what I can do to make my own way so I accept your conditions – at least for now. You won't always be wearing that badge, so perhaps a time will come when we'll both be ready to let the rest of the world know what we've found in each other. So, until that far off someday, it's enough to know we've begun something that can only grow stronger and deeper if it's worth having at all."

I reckon neither of us will ever know why we came to love each other when neither of us wanted it. It's just one of life's mysteries that gets thrown at you from time to time. In our case it was Kitty having breakfast and deciding to stay when she saw me come in for my own breakfast. You just have to deal with it.


End file.
